Our Wedding Chronicles: A Frustrating Question

Wedding invitations typically include attire guidelines. Couples decide attire based on a few different things, from the vibe of the party, to the theme or motif of the wedding, or the style of the venue. The invitations, coupled with the attire guidelines, are meant to help guests figure out what to wear to the wedding. If a guest is a well-experienced event attendee, they might even pick up on the colors of the wedding from the invitation (given that the invitations are cohesive with the overall wedding style). When an invitation arrives that is clearly 1-3 colors, you can probably guess that these are the colors that the bridal party will be wearing–avoid wearing these! It will be awkward. You will look like you did not get the memo, like you semi-belong in the bridal party but did not coordinate with everyone else, or like you are trying to upstage the wedding.

My wedding invitations state “Attire: Black Tie.”

I have received numerous inquiries about what “Black Tie” means, if I really mean “Black Tie,” or if “___ or ___ is okay instead?”


We are in the 21st century, people! You can easily search what “Black Tie” means on the internet. Also, if I didn’t mean it, why would I have it foil-printed on heavy paper invitations that I spent hundreds on? Yes, I mean it! Folks then like to ask if certain other types of attire are acceptable. But I cannot imagine that anybody I invited does not own a nice, formal suit. My dad even said his friends were asking if they really have to wear a tuxedo or what kind of suit to wear to a “Black Tie” wedding. You know what he said? He told them just to wear a tie! Again, WHAT?!

There is a line below the stated attire that details what the Marines should be wearing [Marines: Blue – White Dress “B”]. Even if you are not familiar with military uniforms, it’s clear that this is a formal, military wedding in which you can expect Marines to be dressed to the nines. Why would you come dressed in anything less than your best? Come on, y’all. How often do you get the chance to clean up nicely? You will be photographed with me in a fancy dress (yes, it’s fucking fancy) and my husband in his Dress Blues and a bunch of other awesomely dressed people. In a ballroom. A replica of the White House ballroom, to be exact. It’ll be great. I hope these people dress up. I swear, this is not asking very much.

//end rant

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