Post-graduate Limbo

I’m currently in between major chapters in life, if you can call them that. I finished my undergraduate education 2 months ago and I’ve got one month until I start my internship at GQR. Remember that random job interview I spent hours blindly preparing for? I accepted the internship with hopes of transitioning into a full-time position after the 8-week program. While I am excited to embark on a new journey, I’ve been caught in a slump trying to figure out what I’m about and who matters.

Here’s what I do know: I am extremely fortunate to have a job opportunity secured before my commencement ceremonies. I have a family and boyfriend who love and support me all the way. I have everything I could possibly need and if I get my head in the game, I can set myself up for success. It’s all about my work ethic at this point… or the point where I start working anyway. I put my 8a-4p schedule into my iCal and I am making work my top priority… when I get there. I need to live frugally for a while, seeing as I don’t have a stable income yet.

Since I secured the position, I’ve been in limbo. Do I regulate my sleep schedule or enjoy sleeping past noon and staying out til the wee morning hours? Do I attempt to read up on hedge funds and investment banks or just run with it when it starts? I’ve been enjoying endless hours of sleep, adventuring to some new places, and figuring out who really matters in my life. Do I live by myself with no distractions or with a roommate to save a little money? Where do I even live? With a long distance relationship, a huge transition from school to work life, and the potential for hard-earned success at my fingertips, I’ve found it’s easy to feel alone. With a ton of free time, I find myself reflecting on friendships and wonder who will stick it out with me through this crazy time when we’re all moving fast on winding paths.

Trivial things start bothering me, such as not being personally invited to a party or having to clean up a mess that isn’t mine. But again, I am fortunate to have stupid worries like this. As my wonderful friends Matt A. and Jason Smith always preach, “Self-advocacy!” If I wanna be somewhere, I can invite myself and if something needs to get done, I better do it myself! True, this is not the be-all and end-all of life. But this is The Donnaly Natividad Show and I am the star! Those friendships I am convinced are false in my solitude are alive and well. And they two-ways streets. Just as I got caught up in graduating, finding a job, and traveling… others are doing the same thing and maybe it’s time for me to reach out. All I know is that this is a huge process, not a finite agreement between people.

In this state of limbo, I have MANY things to do.

  • Read everyday. A book, magazines, the news… everything.
  • Watch more Sons of Anarchy.
  • Work out and eat healthy for health’s sake. NOT starve myself and run constantly to fit in the smallest possible size.
  • Play with Teddy a lot.
  • Live out my ride-or-die roles and push others to do the same. Come on now, it’s me. Being my ride-or-die is fun.

This is happening.

If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.

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