I’ve been kinda hesitant to start this challenge because I am sort of afraid of some of the answers. In many of my involvements, I’m pushed to think critically and this mindset does not carry over into some aspects of my life. I guess this is why it’s a challenge. Also, I always miss the first of the month and give myself yet another reason to put it off… but if’s there’s one thing Soc 183 (Comparative and Historical Sociology) taught me, it’s to not abide by arbitrary social constructions, such as calendar days. Here it goes…
I am currently in a relationship with Ezrael Atajar, who is the love of my life. Having this as the first post is really loaded! We’ve been together since July 6th, 2009. Yes, there is a 6-year age difference, but that’s hardly anything to me. I’ve always had an old soul. In my past relationships, I felt like it was my duty to change those guys for the better or bring out the best in them, which is not a good foundation for a relationship. In my current relationship, we deal with a different struggle: distance. I have a man who I am extremely compatible with and puts in just as much effort as I do–we want to make each other happy and give each other the best we can. BUT we can’t ever really be together.
For the first year we were together, Ez lived in San Jose and I was at school, of course. I would work to pay for travel. We saw each other 2 or 3 times a month for a few days at a time and it was difficult, but worth it. Then Ez went to OCS (Officer Candidates School) in October of 2010, which was in Quantico, VA. I am super proud of all he has accomplished and although it’s a struggle doing this whole thing long-distance (his duty station is Cherry Point, NC), the effort will pay off in the end. I’m actually getting pretty spoiled because he’s training in Twentynine Palms, CA (September-December) so I’ve gotten to see him every weekend. I know it will be difficult transition back to seldom seeing each other, but we’re blessed to have gotten to spend all this time together. I plan on moving to North Carolina after I graduate so I can experience life outside of SoCal’s glitz and glamour. He won’t be there forever anyway.
Ez is simple. I am complicated–always overthinking things, diving into deeper intentions and meanings, reading into situations to the point where it’s no longer productive. We balance each other out pretty well. At times, it gets frustrating because we have trouble understanding each other’s thought processes, but the point is that we try. We do our best to communicate with each other about everything. There have been some bumps in the road, but what’s life without a few challenges? We are by no means perfect, nor striving to be. We just want to settle in our own little niche of happiness.
We travel a lot, which is a result of Ez being in the military. Just this past summer we drove cross-country to bring his car to CA from NC. We’ll be doing it again when he has to go back in December. I love that we get to have so many new experiences together–it keeps us away from the humdrum of school and work.
Although a lot of people say it about their own relationship… We are going to be together forever. It’s just how life is going to work out for us. When we first started dating, it was already clear that Ez would be going to OCS, so we didn’t exactly have time to mess around or “cupcake.” There was no point in wasting our time if it was going to end before he left. We fell in love right away though, acting crazy and talking about the rest of our lives not even a month into the relationship. It felt so right then and it still does every single day.
My favorite thing to do with Ez is eat :) He has a pretty strict diet/workout plan, but he can definitely eat! I used to hate that he would eat so healthy, but I’ve learned to trick him into eating with me. He motivates me to be healthier also, but maybe not on his level (yet?). His weakness is sweets, which is so adorable. This past Valentine’s Day, I got him a bouquet of personalized Popcakes and he ate ALL of them while I was asleep on the drive to Philadelphia.
A lot of our time is also spent sleeping (and cuddling!) because we are always tired for some reason -_- His arms are definitely my favorite place to be. We do waste some time arguing, but no relationship is perfect. It comes from our stubborn personalities. The most important thing, in the end, is that we love each other and we are trying.
We’re in a little over two years and we’ve got forever to go.